doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
