good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im holly from the hills drunk
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
