He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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