you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
