STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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