I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
