I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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