No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i love accidental penises.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
