im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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