Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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