One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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