I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
