is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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