Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
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Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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