I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
