am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
