Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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