One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
