I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
