i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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