She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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