White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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