ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she smelled like a LAN party
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
