dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
