You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
