Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
