I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
