Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
