In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
