You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
