We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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