Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
