I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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