I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
