My hand turned me down
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
