Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize