It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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