I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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