Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
