I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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