i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
