your thong is hanging out like whoa
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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