just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
