So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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