hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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