I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
