good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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