Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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