i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
