I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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