How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
