I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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