Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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