Don't you send me to vm
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
