You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
