Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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